Thoughts about being blown a little off course

July 24th........'Change is good.'

Still we have blue skies like these in Alaska the other week but forest fires are now a big danger with temperatures up in the 30s. Yesterday was a heavily  medical day with three hours at the dentist and two at the Chemo clinic having Herceptin. I'm at number 12 of 17 cycles so it seems as if the end may not be too far away and if I stay on track I'll be done in December. It  was odd to think I'm now at this far-on stage as I talked to a woman who was nervously sititng there to have her first chemo and another who was sitting proudly bald. It took me back to how I've been in the past few months. So today I'm ready to start my feeling jet-lagged week.

'The only constant is change' I suppose and for that I'm grateful. I feel I've changed a lot this year and mostly at the moment realise how I'm much more aware in little ways of people who have mental and physical health issues. I've been blessed with a life that hasn't much been touched by these problems and see now that I'm much more tuned into what some have to go through. That's been a good change and lesson for me and I think before I just didn't get it.

July 17th........'Champagne on Ice.'

Lovely lovely weather gave us a great week in the [what's usually] cold North. We saw spectacular scenery and lots of whales and were thoroughly spoilt so came home feeling relaxed and rested. Here you can see we were basking in the sun to have our pea soup  [a Dutch ship!] and champagne in Glacier Bay. My jet lag from last week has worn off and I've noticed that even though Herceptin isn't a true chemo drug I seem to have that same pattern of being wiped for the few days after I've had it. At least I'm not wobbly like I used to feel.... just wiped.

 I spent the whole week getting lost on the ship and when I asked an Irish friend to help me out, she said..."Well, if I were you I wouldn't have started here.' Lovely.....Never ask the Irish to help you get back on course! It's a bit how I feel this year but for now I'm back down on the 49th Parallel hoping not to get lost again.

July 10th.........'Feeling Lazy.'

 

This week the Gods are right for taking a little trip away from home for the first time for ages. I feel more confident about being away from the security of my medical team, there are NO doctory appointments for two weeks [almost a first!], the sun is out and there are two last minute tickets on one of the boats that glide past our house most evenings in summer. So we are here on the free Internet in the library in Juneau, being lazy and feeling spoilt on our way to and from Alaska. It is humbling to realise that people have come from all over the world to start off here in Vancouver and appreciate this beautiful coastline we live on.

If you were to ask me how I feel, I would say 'tired,' and so this seems a wonderful way to sit back and let others look after me... and Gary; who has done a fair bit of cooking, driving and shopping in the past year. Nothing new for me really as so many people have looked after me this past year. I think I'm getting rather used to being the 'prima donna'!

Tired though as in jet -lag tired which seems to not even creep up on me but rather leap out, assault me from behind and overwhelm me so that all I want to do is sit down! Having done what I would call the hard stuff, it has surprised me that the Herceptin makes me feel this way. It's either that or an accumulation of the last year .....I don't know what makes me feel what these days. Anyway I suppose I have to realise that the body takes a long time to get over an illness and all the drugs which have been thrown at it and so recovery to proper energy levels is probably more a journey of little troughs and plateaus rather than a steady incline. Maybe, in nine months..... I'll wake up one day and realise I feel different and energetic and really normal again. 

This photo is remembering Jenny with whom I had such fun being waited on as we were going to Alaska last time. This time I was prepared for the excitement and spontanaeity of the on-board TV channel and so didn't press the buttons and find that I had bought two helicopter rides like she did. Thank God for the understanding bursar as we explained our boo-boo! 

July 3rd..... 'Better than Ice Cream.'

This was the beautiful view we woke up to on Wednesday on Saltspring Island. Those are vineyards on the other side of the road, and with sheep and horses in the field next to the house I was in my element enjoying animal smells! As we were driving to the ferry, we were listening to a programme on the radio where people were suggesting their favourite Canadian song for Canada Day. One entry was  'Better than Ice -Cream' by Vancouver singer -song writer Sarah McLachlan. [I hope those of you outside Canada can listen to this but I've a feeling there is a new block on Youtube links these days...please let me know.]

This reminded me of an ESL class a few years ago when homework, the week of Canada Day, was for each group to suggest their favourite Canadian song and to present it to the class so that we would vote for it. The winning song would then be taught by them to the class. One choice was this song which was promoted to us as the best because: she comes from Vancouver, she loves animals, it has a great chorus, and most importantly...ice -cream is delicious! Just to push the point home we were all given little origami ice cream cones that stole our hearts and made us all vote for them! The next class the group stood at the front of the class along with their CD to teach us the words. With endless practice, a big tub of ice-cream to share and even more laughter we all learned the short song. But best was the group of Japanese girls who insisted on singing the chorus and acting out the chorus ...'It's a long way down..' and the Columbian lawyer who had wanted to learn it so he could sing it to his wife.

Gary was surprised to see me tucking in and enjoying a sorbet  [my non- dairy version of an ice- cream] on the same day saying he'd never seen me do that in 30 years. Amazing how drugs can improve an appetite! So along with Canada Day and a 33 year anniversary today, I reckon my Herceptin went down yesterday better with ice -cream.